The Zero Rule
Get a life. The blog is about your life, but it’s not your life. You gotta have something to write about first.
Rule #1
Write, of course. And keep writing. Then write some more. Every day and possibly more then once a day. If you update the blog once a month you will be forgotten by everybody (your mother as well) in no time.
Rule #2
Write in english. The best blogs are in english, english is with no doubt the best blogging-language. It’s fast and direct like no other language, you can make as many mistakes as you want and nobody will ever point them out (actually they won’t even notice them), even the lowest level of english sounds intellectual, you can reach such a bigger audience.
Rule #3
Pretend you are a rebel and constantly mad at the world. Play cinical. This, among other things, allows you to use a really bad english.
Rule #4
Surf the net. A lot. You always find funny things out there. Of course talk about this in your blog.
Rule #5
Surf the blogs. Comment everything (nice comments!) and link even more to your blog. Have hundreds of links displayed on your page, you’ll look somehow important.
Rule #6
Publish lots of pictures. Every day of course.
Rule #7
Don’t ask yourself too many questions. Actually, don’t ask yourself questions at all. If you feel like writing something, just write it. If you are in doubt, just write it. If you are thinking it might be the wrong decision, just write it. If somebody tells you that it was wrong, ingore or insult him/her. Remember, the blog is yours.
Rule #8
Have fun. Especially when you write, have fun and make fun of other people/things. Use humor, people like it. Nobody wants to get a depression reading about how ugly you are, how bad your life is and how depressing the weather is. If you really have to be negative, be mad, but always with irony/sarcasm.
Rule #9
Get naked. Think out loud, expose yourself, get to the point and then get even deeper down.
Rule #10
Constantly reinvent yourself. Change style, attitude, thinking et cetera. People get bored easily.
Rule #11
Every once in a while publish some real IM conversation you had. It’s even better if it was with another blogger. No need to say it must be a smart talk, right?
Rule #12
Don’t reply to every single comment. You are a busy person, you don’t have time for every reader’s little comment.
Rule #13
You might even want to refer to yourself as “us” instead of “me”. People will think there is some professional team behind the blog and you will gain respect and credibility.
Rule #14
Whatever you write, it doesn’t have to be necessarily true. Whenever you feel like just make up some story about your last night or something but don’t tell anybody it’s a fake. Fake interviews are also a good shot. If you are real good at inventing you can forget about The Zero Rule.
Rule #15
Never, *ever*, follow another blogger’s advice on how to blog. As I said, the blog is yours, and it must be unique.
*This set of rules was heavily inspired by Tonypierce
